There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
