Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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