We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
