I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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