If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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