I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
