She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just want nice things and good sex
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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