what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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