She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
