so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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