she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
