Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
