Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
