I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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