Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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