1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
