I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
