Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
