Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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