Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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