And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
