@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
