he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
