There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
