I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize