after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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