i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize