so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
