actually, I'm a sock model
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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