Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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