Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize