then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
