your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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