Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
