I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
