Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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