she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
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