You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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