She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
