hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
