So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize