i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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