u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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