dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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