hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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