Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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