I wanna passion pit in your ass
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
