Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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