he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
