One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
