You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
