Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
