You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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