Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.

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(314): View more from Missouri

screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.

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(303): View more from Colorado

She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.

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(970): View more from Colorado

We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.

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(512): View more from Texas

Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.

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(516): View more from New York

Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar

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(337): View more from Louisiana

If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬

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