So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
