it wasn't lemon gatorade
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize