At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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