i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
