There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
