FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
