Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
