She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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